Good lord I'm tired.

I cant get over HOW tired I am lately. Moreso this week.

We had a new client start. AND hes is a busy as a bumble bee. JUST watching HIm got me tired.

PLUS we took a drive down to Buffalo on Friday. Which was alright until we hit hamilton way. SNOWY. I was ready to stay the night in Buffalo after the Lacrosse Game if it was still snowy out. I did not enjoy my drive down.

PLUS CHris was getting a bit peeved as we were detained at the border. HIS bestfriend has been flagged each time he tries to cross back into the states as a few months ago he tried bringing his girlfirends stuff across the border. WEll her papers for canadian citizenship were not filed yet so he had to return everything she owned to a goodwill.

Had fun at the game but I was wipped out all weekend. Spent saturday shopping. LOVED blowing all my money on food. AND sunday pent it twith the inlaws for superbowl.
I spent most the evening in the kitchen cooking. WHICH i didn't mind as I was feeling anti social lately.

I felt like an old married couple yesterady as we were watching some episode on rome or something and we both could barely keep our eyes open. 8:36 we were in bed. SO SAD.

I'm hoping I get out of this rut Im in. NOT liking it one bit. At least I hjave just over 2 months left of work left. YIPPITY DO DA.

CAN NOVEMBER BE DONE YET???????????????

I'm sick of November its been HELL ALL MONTH.

Any of you following me this moth so far can see what a CRAPTACULAR month it has been.

WELL LETS Add to the SAGA.

Saturday. Found out at church that a well known family in our church, their youngest son passed away that morning. He had Ceribral Palsy and was always a happy little guy. (he's was 20. But I remember him at 8) So I was crying away in church when they mentioned that.

Funeral was to take place on Tuesday morning. But with taking 2 days off work last week and then finding out we were short staff again. since we now had 2 staff members who are out of contry for funerals of their grandmothers. (happened 1 week apart. What are the chances) I knew asking that time off was not going to happen. But thats ok. My mom and sister went with Meagan.

Tuesday. FUN FUN Tuesday.

Off to work I go. My client canceled. So I went to another client whos normally a dream. I'm setting up. THings are ok. Mom mentioned he's been up since 4:30 AM and had taken some meds since he's comming down with a cold. FUN. Thats ok I'll play it by ear, and if its not going I'll cancel. WELL, behaviours start with mom when she tries to get him to pee. He hasn't since he woke. So he comes to me screaming.

So I'm letting him take a minute to get it out of his system. The now hes on the floor, thats ok but getting REALLY close to the futton metal frame. Too close for my comfort. SoI get on my knees to move him and the kid bloody kicks me in the abdomen. Little pain from the kick but ok.

45 minutes later cramps start. First mild but they just got worst and worst. So I end session at his break. I leave and call my midwifes. She mentioned just to take warm baths. AND and if the cramping doesn not die down we'll get an ultrasound.

So they start calming down as the afternoon goes bye. So My plan was to get chris and we get meagan and grab me some clothes.

Well we get to my moms, and find out my cat. My cat of 12 years was missing since the night before. MY Asshole of a brother. Went for a smoke and when he came in he didnt check if the screen door closed properly. My mom came in shortly after didnt think much of it. Saw my sisters cat. WHO would leave at any chance, so she never thought of my 12 year old cat who's about4-7 pounds. I'm freaking. Thinking of him freezing to death in the cold night. HOPPING hes in someones garage or someone brought him in.

So off we go looking in the park. The more we walk the more we realize theirs 7 streets agcent to this park. HE COULD BE ANYWHERE. By this point I'm too stressed I dont want to eat. I'm cramping like crazy and all I can think Is I ned to get home to make lost cat posters.

So we did that and bring them to the house. WHen I handed them to my brother. He acted like this was ruining HIS evening plan. I told him for at least now deliver to every complex (their in a 55 unit towncomplex) so they did. BUT I was going to shoot him in the head.

Well I cramped all night. And in the morning I called the midwifes and she told me to rest some more and get an ultrasound.

All was fine with little baby. I actually got to see the left and right hemisphere of its brain. THAT WAS AMAZING. But as I sat in the waiting room for 50 minutes with a sick woman coughing all over me. To which I'm avoiding sick people like the plague as I've taken enough days off already in 3 months.

MAN what a day

So its friday. Off sick from work. Tried to play hookie yesterday but I actually ended up catching something. because a tevery attempt to eat somwthing it was comming right out of me. NO IDEA what or WHERE i caught this bug.

SO resting up today. NOT lookingforward to having Dinner with my brother and his CRAZY ASS girlfriend. BUT WHATEVER.

SO day goes as usual. I figure if we dont hear back frm my bro by 6pm we were going to see HAPPY FEET. SO I come home with my girl from doing some erands at 4. I go to kiss CHris and I get hit with a wall of the motor oil smell on him. He gets pissy at me "well I washed my hands" with my response "its all over you, why cant you just change your clothes." to which BONEHEAD responds with "why are you so sensitive to smells lately. I've been doing the same thing for the last 3 months. WHATS WITH YOU?????"

I stormed off. I'M FREAKING PREGNANT. THATS WHATS WRONG WITH ME. BUT instead of starting a fight over something as little as this I go to bed. Take a nap and get awoken by chris going "I think thers something wrong with the fridge.

I get up YUP its gone caputs. NOw this fridge belonged to his parents when they lived here. So I have never known exactly HOW OLD it is. thats when I find out the bloody thing is 35 freaking years old. HAD I known it was THAT old. Iwould have started saving money long time ago. $20 a pay, we would have money for a fridge. BUT NO, we have nothing now. SO I guess he worked something out with his mom to get a cheaper fridge and she pay for it and it stays with the townhouse when we move.

SO Off we go to pick her up at kipling and to the brick we go. SO they hadf a decent basic fridge on sale for $479. SO we get that. THe man comes over says they can diliver sunday. EXCELLENT. As currently were trying to salvage the forzen meat in our cooler sanwiched between bags of ice. ANd Meagan's homo milk is currently residing in our 12can coke fridge.

So we complete everything and he goes to book the delivery and now its for monday. FINE we need it NOW so I was going to have my sister watch Meagan here. But he said He would check to see if something opened up for sunday he would call us tonight. Well MR HUGH called us back. DElivery on SUNDAY. I'm so excited.

But by the time we drove Chris's mom home and we returned home it was 8:45 ANd CHris went to bed at 9:20 as he ahs to work tomarrow.

GOOD LORD. SO our plan for our Grey Cup Party of pizza and pop will now be changed to pork chops and pop. TO help salvage some of the meat. Because I know their going to thaw out. AND can stay thawed for a day. But I cant re-freeze them after. SO Chris and Meagan are going to have Salmon for dinner tomarrow and this way we are not waisting that much money by throwing the food out. BUT That just means were going to have to do a COstco run this week when I get paid.

MY OH MY

HOW does time go by. SO now into week 14. I STILL cant eat pork chops or ground beef. I musterd $20 to buy zoodles and mini ravioli for lunch this week as all last week I had fast food and I quickly became broke.

AND LAST WEEK. WOW.

We finally got to seeing Meagan's Cardioligist on HAlloween. HE wants proof that these episodes are NOT related to her heart. SO he ordered a requisition for A loop moniter. ITs a long shot as these episodes are so irriegular in frequency. BUT if by chance she has one it will moniter her heart actions. SO got this little ipod looking machine last friday. AND its going to be on for another week. I got scared when I called to book the appointment. Because the machine she had on in April was MASIVE for a 7 month old. I could not see my VERY MOBILE running girl strapped down for 2 weeks with a thing that weights 1/2 her body weight. BUT THANKFULLY its not. Many people at church commented of 'oh how cute her own ipod" which is nice because I can then I later told them its a heart moniter. BUT people can think I'm ruining my daughters ears and just a cool mom for buying her 14 month old an ipod.

THen ON wednesday I had more bleeding. ENOUGH BRIGHT RED BLOOD to 1/2 soak the toilet paper first thing in the morning. SO I freak. CAll the midwifes. She calls me back in 2 minutes. She told me to get my but to an ultrasound. and 'DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP" THANKS so the first appointment I could get was at 11:30. I immediatly called CHRIS. Because I was a wreck already. When I called my program director to inform her I was not comming in I broke down and cried. I Needed him. Hes the buest guy ever. EVEN thought I knew hes only a 15 minute walk I told him finish what he needed to do because I would not get an appointment any earlier than 9am. (it was 7:45 at time) He was home in 5 minute. OUT OF BREATH, but home. WE sat on the stairs and got my cry out.

SO all moning I tried to drink my fluid and yet keep going to bathroom to check if I was still bleeding. To which I was but it was slowing down. WE go off to the hospital for the ultrasound and the technitian was supper nice. Immediatly saying she was getting a heart beat and everything looked fine. BUT man are their machines crappy. I was not quite 13 weeks and shes showing the screen going "there do you see the heartbeat?" Um no but I take your work for it.

I remeber at the fertility clinic how clear their picture quality was at 7 weeks you could see the definition of the fetus and the little flash in the middle.

SO were off to the midwifes on MOnday. Hopefully we'll get to hear the heartbeat. CHris is egarly anticipating the ultrasound in what4-8 weeks. HE still wants to find out the sex of baby. ME I'm not too sure IF I do.

So we went to the Midwifes

That was good. Because until last friday NEVER thought of Twins. We desperatly wanted twins first time around and had so many ultrasounds with the fertility clinic that I was upset the first time they mentioned no twins.

But That thought never came into my head until Friday. So while we were there they tried to hear the heartbeat. But at just past 10 weeks was a no go. But my midwife mentioned that if there were twins my uterus would be larger than it was (not yet past pubic bone)

I'm still having a hell of a time with this nausia. It just wont GO AWAY. I was so looking forward to my dinner of pasta this evening and had a 1/4 of my meal and STILL not feeling well from it.

GOD I HOPE IT PASSES AFTER 12 WEEKS. If not I'm definitly getting a perscription at my next visit

NOT AGAIN

SO Meagan had another episode this morning.

I was letting her sleep in as I knew my sister worked until 1am yesterday(this morning) So I was sitting here on the computer just before 8am. Meagan cried as per normal to say "mommy I'm up" so I go in and get her out of the crib. SHe then proceded to fall right back asleep on me. NO biggy I wasnt quite done on the computer.

Then she started get really sticky and clamy. NO FREAKING I said to myself. Check her out, pulse seemed good but she would not wake. Kept feeling her up getting really cold now, looking pale and yellowish and deffinitly CLamy. Trying to wake her softly, then rubbing her back, and saying her name louder. Took 5 minutes to get her awake.

So go to change her diaper and shes going back to sleep on change table. Trying everything to keep her awake and focused. Even when she was finally awake and letting me dress her. She was not standing on her own. Moreso hunched on me for support. Took a good 20 minutes until she was herself again.

So I called that specialist, Since we have an appointment October 31 wondering if theres any way we can get in sooner. SHe told me she was going to relay this info to the doc and she'll get back to me in the next few days. She suggested in the mean tome to see our family doctor.

So didnt get an appointment for today but will be seeing him first thing at 10am tomarrow. This is not right, it should not be happening and I want a resolution for this and not 'well the heart ultrasound we did came back normal.' Cuz I'm sorry but this IS NOT NORMAL.......

All I want is an answer to why my daughter is like this.

ITS SO DIFFERENT

ok being pregant this time around is KILLER.

2 weeks ago we were at a work function and I had some chicken ceaser salad for lunch HELLMINS DRESSING. Well that just About turned my stomach upside down.

So for the next 2 day I had the hardest time finding food that would not make me nausiated.

It still continues I can no longer stand Chicken, hotdogs, Kelbasa :-( and right now crackers. Oh and my ham sandwich was not the greatest for lunch.

SO for the second night in a row I'm eating Perogies for dinner. Even the other night with pasta I could only eat 1/2 of it.

Now before people start on the "well it must be a boy, sphiel" I dont want to hear it. All I want is to not be so tired all the time and let me eat.

WHAT A WEEK

SO meagan turned 1 this week. ANd Had a huge Party with my In'laws and my mother.
There were streamers, ballons
ANd found out were PREGNANT
DIdnt think it would happen this quickly. IT took a year to concieve Meagan and that was WITH Fertility Medication.

We were think well, MEagans 1 now. Try for a year, if not get to the fertility Clinic, and by the time Meagan is around 3, she would have a baby brother or sister.

This has changed our plans, but little will need to be bought. EXCEPT a dreaded DOUBLE STROLLER.

OK I pledge to be here more

Can I say when I normally come here to post, Isusally make my way to my website that tracks my visits.

It is so cool that there is someone visiting my site EVERYDAY. Usually some of the girls from the one website I frequent. (which the www. page is still a secret to everyone I know, Why dont know, guilty preasure I guess) or those girls linking from their own blog page.

Whats even more interesting is people going google serches and my page comes up. THere was one person who serched about daughters and found me on page 42. Sorry but if I'm doing a google serch and what I want is not on first 5 MAYBE 10 pages I'm making my request a little more specific.

sometimes its nice to see when your having a bad day and feeling blue, (as I am today) its nice to know that there are people out there that care to see whats new in my life.

SUMMER

So its been close to 2 months since I've been here. Summer is always a busy time, for myself. ANd SUre for everyone else.

I've been enjoying my guilty pleasure of Big Brother. GO JAMES GO.

Just came back from a 6 day trip to montreal, never again visiting with family who I have not seen in 12 years.

Getting myself ready to return to work in 2 1/2 weeks. WAs trully stressing over the fact in NOvember when Meagan was 3 months old. But I guess a .03 cent increase to our mileage and a $1.50 raise is making me look forward to returning to work.

Meagan's taking 1-2 steps on her own for the last 2 weeks. She's gonna be running around. Just cant wait until these teeth come thru. SHe was super cranky for at least 2 weeks befor ethe first tooth came out, now its been 1 1/2 weeks since then and the second top tooth is nowhere to be seen of comming out. I was certain it would have been out by now, but until then its going to be nights of sleeping with her in our bed, or on the couch. and her beating me in her sleep.

Last night she fell asleep at 9, and at 1:30 she was wide awake. She faught with me until 2:45 in ed, then downstairs we went. SHe did not want to sit, lay down, crawl, walk, read, play, watch tv. Faught till 4:30, at that time I was exhausted, went to put her in her crib. thnink if maybe she layed down she would sleep.

Well chris was up, so he took her down. I went back down because even if I slept for 1 1/2 hours before he left for work I would NOT be a pretty preson. Well who would of thunk it, but she sat like a little angel in daddys arms while watching Blast from the past. AAAHHHHH

With the loom of September, so much is happening. I'm returning to work. MEagan is turning one. ANd one ig one, one of my closest friends is going to Australia for a work/school program.

She's going to be gone for 1 year. Its great shes going, because now that shes 25 theres not too many years as she puts it where she can just up and leave for a year. I know its going to be the greatest experience in her life. But I'm sure gonna miss her.

Good LORD ITS BEEN A WHILE

SO I just came her to see its been almost 2 months since my last post. I feel bad to all those who cheak me out and see no change.

So what has happened in my life since????? well its most probably going to concern my baby girl who this week turned 9 months. OH I have little over 2 months before returning to work, *sniff*sniff*

Not much was happeneing with her for a while. Finally some time after my last post around 7 1/2 months she learned to roll over, but not continuously. She still got better and better at her walking, with us supporting her arms of course. Then it seemed all happened in 2 weeks, May 25th, took 1 step towards me not holding onto anything. I was so happy CHris was there to witness it.

On Mothers day we finally saw the beginings of teeth on her bottom gums. Took almost 2 weeks and May 29th one poped and June 2nd the other came thru. Then last week on June 7th, she crawled. I was so happy, but now she crawls over to the gate keeping her in the living room, stand up and shake the cage like an inmate "let me out let me out LET ME OUT!!!" Its kinda cute.

I'm getting myself ready for my girlfirends B-day next weekend. ITS SO GONNA KICK MAJOR ASS. BBQ, and Drinking and swiming and smoking, oh I cant wait.

As much as I know this summers gonna pass in a second, I'm looking forward to my Trip To montreal in August before having to return to work.

BUt as each day passes, I get sad knowing I'll be leaving my girl. I know EVERY mother feels this way, but I'm happy my sister will be the one watching her. My only issue is how will I survive. RIght now Meagan falls asleep somewhere between 9-10 and I dont get to sleep until 2-3. SO we spend most the morning napping away, Her choice not mine. (but I'm not going to complain)

For me to get to work by 9, I'd have to leave my sisters around 8:30. TO get to my sisters we'd leave our house at 8 to get there unpack and away we go. I would need to be getting up aroud 6:30-7 the latest. Me the girl who would roll out of bed normally at 8 am, when will I get things done. UNtil Meagan turns 1, I'll have to pick her up as the carseat does not fit rearfacing in CHris's car, so for 3 weeks when I finish at 4:30, I'd treck across the city to get her, at least Chris can start making dinners on a regular basis.

so theres my rant. or complain, I hope to get here more often to update my life, but life has been too busy. Back to laundry I go

I'm losing it

I'm so freaking happy.

I had my fitness evaluation this past monday. Wanted to see how the last 4 months with my trainer has improved me. AS I know my jeans no longer fit. And I'm having to wash them each day just about to keep them tight on my ass.

So far I've lost 8 inches in total.
1 in chest
2 in waist
2 in hips
2 in thighs
1 in bicep relaxed.
I've also gained 1/2 inch in bicep flexed.

I've also losed 6% body fat and gained 3 lbs in water weight. Which they wanted me to


I'm so proud of myself. I know the results could be much better if I actually made it to the gym an other 4 times other than my training sessions. and if I stuck to the eating regimin as they want. But I'm happy so far.

My weight was a different story. THey first weighed me pre xmas, when I gained close to 15 pounds. and weighed me day after 3 easter dinners and pre period bloating.

By their caculations I was up 5 pounds, But I know for a fact its close to 15 pounds lose with my trainer.

So yippy for me. I'm so excited.
I'm this much closer to my goal. once I get there. This will be what I'm getting done. What I want is a Jessica Rabbit tatoo. TO represent the sexy redhead I am. AND I finally found a picture online of what I want. with the quote "I'm not Bad...... Just drawn that way" written above and below Jessica.

Just cant quite decide on the pic. WOuld love the first one. But whatever looks best on my arm.

OH gotta love Easter with the inlaws.

First my first rant for yesterday is towards my husband.

I know its not his fault for being a heavy sleeper. But if Meagan and I can play all over him for 10 minutes and not have hime move an inch. YEAH hes a heavy sleeper. So the plan was to go to 9am mass as he was working at the movie theater from 11-5. (thats an other rant. Only man with wife and child and HE has to work easter sunday where the other teenages will not take his shift)

So chris knew we were to leave at 8:20 to be at church for 8:30 get in when 7:30 mass gets out to get good seats up front. Well the bastard never woke up. I did not wake him as I had meagan all cranky and still not herself from thursday.

So off I go to HIS grandmothers Easter dinner that starts at 3pm. YES DINNER AT 3!!!!! All alone and with his sister. His father and uncle are there. Not sure in what state of drunkeness Grandma will be in.

So we sit and heres the first thing His father did not like comming out of my mouth. He mentioned his ex-girlfriends , son's ex-girlfriend (who is the mother of his child) was taking their child easter egg hunting. ANd oh how great it will be for Meagan to go next year.
ME: NOPE, not doing that.

The shock and horror on his face "well, well why?"

(please to those who do not see it my way not meaning to flame you, this is just my beliefs)
Me: Nope easter is about going to chuch, celebrating the death of christ. And spending it with family. No easter egg hunts, no gifts, just the occasional chocholate

well HE was S NOT IMPRESSED.

then as tim passes he asked if she was crawling yet, as said above ex-girlfriends son's daughter was crawling at 7 months. Bullshit i say.

ME: nope, not yet. and dont think she will as she will walk assited now and stll does not like tummy time.

SO as conversation goes. Grandma mentions how she was a sport widow during the summer months. That grandpa used to play baseball, coach baseball, play tennis, lawn bowling and she never saw him. Then chris's dad says "well I'm no different I used to play 3 basebal leagues. Tounements all the time but stil did go by kids (in his dreams)" So It took all of me not to say 'well and thats why your daughter hates you and your son would rather look thru foggy googles than to trully hate his father.'

This was after I mentioned that chris is quiting his part tim job at the movie theater,His dad "well why would he do that, thougth he liked the job and money?"
Me: "he works 4 shifts there now as is and going to be playing 1 night a week at baseball. He wants to put his family before job and its his decission


Then towards 4:45 I mentioned to grandma we will be leaving at 5:30 as i want to spend the evening with Chris.

Meagan fell asleep at 5:15 just as tea was ready. so I lay her down on the love seat thats 2 feet wide. not a problem as she barely moves during her sleep except to shake her head no. I go to get a cup of tea. so grandma goes "A(father in law) come sit with us, dont be an outcast."
As he looks natly at me he says "well A(sister in law) knows WHY i'm not comming to sit down." she then says "why? because of meagan?" then I get evil look god knows now.

He did not trust my judgement that I know my 7 month old NOT TO MOVE WHILE SHE SLEEPS. and he sat on another seat at the foot of the loveseat for 30 minutes as she slept.

So I'm a horrible mother in his eyes, because its been since christmas he's seen her and NOT ONCE CALLED TO ARRANGE A VISIT.

this just makes me hate him even more.
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update on Meagan

****Can I make alittle disclaimer: I have NO IDEA where my ramblingings were going in my last Blog. Just looked back and I trailed off at the end. MAybe I was tired, maybe I was insane, whatever I have a baby. THATS MY EXCUSE :-0****

SO we met Dr Jackass last week. AND he was not a jackass.

Her ECG was abnormal and he heard a heart murmer. So off we go to verify these are in tehir normal ranges.

Fast fowrward to today......................................................

SO today was one of the big days. WARNING LONG

Off to the hospital we go. SO I got NO SLEEP. Tummy not feeling well from last night (think it was the mozzarella sticks and chips and dip I had for dinner ECSTATIC )

SO meagan woke at 2:45. Ate and we were back asleep at 3:30 am. SO I got all of 3 hours sleep.

All was going well. Appointment was for 12:45 (remeber this It will come up later) So fed her at 9am so she could get enought and take her time to eat.

She finishes in 10 minutes. She was starting to fall asleep, so I put her in her excersaucer. THen I needed to pee, so Off I go. TO come back to a baby asleep in her excersaucer. I know I know I should have taken a picture Doh!

SO I try everything I can to wake her. nothing working so I figure an 30 minute nap aint gonna kill her. Really do they expect a 7 month old to stay awake for a minimum 6 1/2 hours? NO!

SO I join in this nap. Alarm goes off and try to wake her NOTHING. Even lifting her eyelids and shes rolling them back, down or off to the side to not look at me.

SO she ends up sleeping for 1 hour 20 minutes. THats ok, still have pleanty of time till 1pm.

So we leave a little early so I can arrive at the hospital 15 minutes early to fill in paper work.

Get there go down the hallway. Now when we first registered. I saw on her sheet 1:30 by our name. Must be wrong RIGHT. Didnt mention anything.

SO 1pm comes along and they let this older gentleman in before us Confused Confused Confused Confused

Now meagan has not eaten in 4 hours and getting tired and hungry. My sister goes and hunts a nurse down, who was surprised of Meagans wait on food??

She comes and takes our info for paper work. I ask how long its gonna be as shes starving and need to feed her. "oh you dont feed her until after the exam"
"EXCUSE ME. NO the doc's reception note says I can feed her after the sedation."
"oh, well no the sedation may make her vomit if she eats after. We usually give water to make sure they can swallow"
"uh no, I dont give her water."
"well you cant give her formula, unless you Breastfeed. But only half a feed"

Here I'm thinking to myself Meagan will not accept a half feed. Whatever. If Meagan wants a full feed she'll get it.

SO they dont take me into the room till 1:45 (almost 5 hours since last feed and 3 1/2 hours since she woke up) Do all the blood preasure and tempurature.

So we have the option of oral or rectal dosage. If dont orally its a bitter taste and usually can only give 1/2 dose. If she is not expected to 'VOID' anytime soon we can give rectally.

So I opt for rectal as we had a poop this am, and less evasive. (sp?)
mentions how she would be feeling dizzy kinda drunkish. so its a different feeling for baby so calm her and get her to sleep the best I can with avoiding feeding at all cost. But can if nothing works in 30 minutes. usually takes 10-30 minutes.

SHe conks out in 1 minute. Not due to drugs but on her

SO there doing the tests, first technician was super niice and was doing her job great, she had most her stuf done in 35 minutes (where she said 45) and Doc was on his way. NOPE later find out this old woman ( i mean old at least 50) sits down and starts doing stuff. To which minutes ago she was asking the first tech why she was not doing this or that. To which her responce was "were not doing that"

NOw old woman takes 30 minutes and then tells me shes in TRAINING.

THen doc stolls in. Tells me pics look good so far, nothing seems to be the matter. But basically does everything over these two woman did for last hour. THen at 1 hour 38 minutes he asks "how long are her afternoon naps usally"
"30 minutes" as he jerks her a bit too fast and wakes her. NOw hes trying to get a test of her blood preasure and need to a) keep her still b) would prefer everyone to basically shut up (not exact words)

After trying to get the blood pressure for 5 minutes he gives up.

SO theres our day.

In 2 weeks were going in for 24 heart moniter test. but things are good.

My only worry was watching the first tech measure all the little "holes" blips and bloops. All that was running thru my head was I did this to my baby as I never could take my prenatal vitamins regularly. Hell If I remembered once a week was good. (i'm not a pill popper)

But so far baby good. Sleeping most evening but right now my only concern was at church she started to kinda sqeel but could not get it out. Sounded very raspy like she was weezing. of couse she was going it before mass started while all quiet and did it a few times in a row that just about the whole congrigation I could hear them turn to our direction as it sounded like she could not breath. But she was just trying to laugh.

Will keep an eye out for that tomarrow if it gets worst I'll be calling telehealth. But not sure why shes doing it as drugs given rectally so nothing would later irritate her throught.

So if your still here I wish to thank my BITCH AGAIN, as when we returned home there was a package and she mentioned she was thinking of us today. Really needed it.

Oh irritating people

SO a litle break down. THe other day apparently I never signed out of MSN messenger. SO at 10 pm when WE brought Meagan up to bed, There was a message from Chris's god mother. WOW shes talking to me. (she was pissed never invited to Meagan's baptism, but shes part of Chris's life not Meagan's )

SO she was asking when I was comming down to cambridge (like 1 hour drive on 401) Mentioned how will check with chris about next sunday. So I was mentioning How excited I was. I vacumed the stairs up to the bedroom. THey had not been vacumed for at least 7 months and covered in cat hair.

Then I mentioned how it was a baby step in the mountain of things that need to be done here. Then she goes on I should have a sign "if you make the mess, you clean it up" I said thats fine and dandy but when most of the mess is mine, Donr have time in my Day with Meagan to do it.

She was appaled. How could I be at home for a year and NOT have the time to keep my house in tip top shape?? I mentioned that my days are spent with Meagan. She only takes 30 minute naps, and I normally enjoy a nap with her. If not I take a piss, a shower or something. I barely can make food, eat it and clean the plates its on. And with chris workin 4 nights a week, dishes have not been done.

"well just leave Meaga alone, she needs to learn how to entertain herself" well yeah I do let her be, but after 10 minutes she no longer wants to be in exerscaucer, then 5 minutes later no longer wants to be in her swing. Her attention span is so short, I'm constantly entertaining her.

THen she goes off how I should basically leave her in a playpen and go about my day. UM HELL NO. I was sooo pissed off. I had a child to enrich my life, not to make my status as a woman better. I would rather interact with my daughter than have a clean houes.

So Tuesday morning I was still fuming over this. AND my Chiropractor noticed my tension. I had mentioned this and he, who makes ton of money (his wife is also a chriopractor, They both do work in this office) said "dont worry, our house is just the same, Its a completly differrent gereation. We know that interacting with childern are so much more important that the cleanliness of our house holds."

Then makes me think, I didnt turn out so bad, But then again I dont think My mother was ever like that. Back then they got 6 weeks mat leave, and I remember having a nanny when we lived in Thunder Bay.

But then again explains her son. Who is shy, quiet and reserved, more into his video games and computer games like his father. I could just see no conversations. Hell she complains that her husband lives in the basement and barely speaks with him on a daily basis.

I think if your in a marriage like that whats the point. Marriage is to enrich your life.

Someone on one of my sites asked how do you know he's the one???????

My response was you know hes the one when you cant live with him, but still cant live without him. Chris has some annoying habits and on bad days just throws me over the edge. But in the end I only could tollereate them from him, but no one else.
That you share some interests and are willing to do what he likes/ she likes, even if it does not completly float your boat.
YOu can share silence and not get wigged out (ie the car commercial)
You can let the other go out without you. (I go to clubs, he goes bowling) still having things you do that you enjoy. ANd not get super jealous if their at the club

Its taken me many years to realize these points. Before It yous to be you know he's the one because you love him. But really then you need to define What is love to you. MAny people have asked me this since we got together so young and were married young. other questions were like "how do you know he's the one, if hes the ONLY relationship you've had?" I could not bear being apart from him. Thats why.

WOW been a while

man is life getting ever so busy.

Trying to manage my time and the things Meagan has to do, thankfully were off from swimming for the next 2 weeks.

She is getting so big, now. Here she is last week for St. Patrick's DAy. All dressed in green with Daddy.

I'm still dreading going back to work soon. WHat will I do. Thankfully my sister said She'll watch her, but I could not leave her in a daycare. It would cost $1000 a month. Are you kidding me?????

Bt knowing shes with my sister is good.

My two best friends are in COsta Rica at the moment. and Wish I was with them, yesterday they took a canopy tour of the Rain Forest. How cool would THAT BE?????

My sister, the flirt

SO I just called my sister to confirm our date tomarrow to go to the movies. She had gone down town Toronto for the St. Patrick's Day Parade.

She was expected home earlier and wanted to sewe Meagan before we left. well she was not home ast 7:30 so we left.

Where is she, at a fire Hall in Toronto. This fire hall apprently was in the Parade, and well her frien9d works there.

SHe got the whole hall of ment to say hello to me. :-) She seems to know someone EVERYWHERE IN TORONTO.

My kitties caught a mouse.

So yesterday I come home from my long day of activites with Meagan.

Nothing too big, Abby our dog meets us at the top of the stairs, as we get Meagan out of her car seat. THen thats when I had the first incaling something was up.

Next thing I hear, meow, meow meow meooooow. Trying to figure out whats up. I call to Sprinkles and Tigger. Ususally if their meowing its cuz their excited to see were home and letting me know their on their way to great us. Minute passes, 2 minute passes, NO cats. BUT their still meowing.

Well I go to check it out as previously they have gotten into cabinets and cant get out. NOPE here are both my cats in the bathroom huddled over my Weight watchers scale (which has a glass part) and sprinkles has his arm under it.

NOW the strange part of all of this is USUALLY sprinkles and Tigger rarly are civil with each other. Until I look a little closer. NOPE theres a mouse under the scale. Here I'm thinking its hiding out where the cats cant get him. So I usher the cats out so I cat bag this mouse.

now the best part was after I ushered the cats out and went to put my rubber gloves on my himilayian tigger has got his paw under the door as he meows and scrates away at the air under the door. ANd if any of you know Tigger, he's too priccy for that.

SO of course the mouse was dead. Figued it mustered enough energy after sprinkles took him in there to crall under the scale to die in peace.

Back in November our neighbours in our townhouse mentioned they had a ton of mice in their house and wondered if we had any. We had mentioned not this year but about 2 1/2 years ago when we brought Sprinkles in after the wedding He did catch a mouse for the first time. He has kept perch in our kitchen stairing at the base boards for the lucky mouse to cross into our house.

SO he was estatic after catching this one. MAN I love my kitty cats. :-)

My daughter has perfect timming

So last night I was up late. Meagan spat up on Chris's work pants. So i was washing his pants as he leaves for work at 6:30 am.

So I caught myself up on Hitched and my emails. Had been so busy Had not gotten on the computer for 4 days.

So ok, thats fine. I FINALLY crall into bed at 3am. and promptly at 3:05 Am Meagan wakes and is HUngry and wants to play. Yesterday I should have known something might be up as she was eating every 2 hours. SO we feed at 3am, 5am, 7 am and 9am. Im exausted now.

Thank GOd wednesdays are our relaxing days, except I had hoped to get to church for ash wednesday service at 9:30. Yeah that was not happening.

SO our day was kind of off. Took my sister to an earlier train. OUr regular program watching (oprah @4pm and Dr. Phil @5pm) was switched on wed as we like watching Montel Williams and Sylvia Browne @4. SO it was Dr. Phil, Montel, and then oprah.

WE had dinner early. SHe was good enought for me to eat at a decent time 6pm. So she had her carrots and apple sauce. WHen we realized our there was not much to do. Took a bath together at 6:30.

Just after 7pm when we got out and changed we napped. from about 7:15- 8:30 for me, SHe slept till 9.

Watched the end of Americal Idol and then 13 going on 30. Then she fell back asleep at 11:30.

Im certain now she's going to wake any minute now. BUt had 2 cans of coke at 10pm, as I had the WORST sweet craving and tried everything in my power NOT to get coke (as its one of the things I've given up for lent) had cookies, popcicles, kool aid. BUt nothing worked. so now as its shortly passed 2am I should be getting my ass to bed, in case Meagan wakes again at 3am.

But how does she always know when I stay up late on the computer, she ALWAYS wakes within 15 minutes of me going to bed. wether it be at 2am or 5am??? SHe must have a moniter on Me. HA

Solid Food Adventure

So about 2 weeks ago we started Solids with Meagan. SHe was so interested in food and even taking my plate away from me.

So we started on the Rice cereal packages we got free in the mail (nestle) And BOY did she enjoy. So I thought I could transition into Life brand or Heinz Rice cereal as the Nestle is $3.79 a box. Nope SHe wont have that. Just today I realized the Nestle is a powder where the others liike like fish food flakes. So I'll be trying to do a half and half mix as I do not want to throw 2 full boxes in the garbage.

So also on friday I went to Zellers and got 80 cans of baby food on sale. SO we started on Apple and rasberry. well this is what she looks like after her first feeding.


Boy did she love it. SHe would grab onto the spoon and hold on forever.

Then we tried Peas. She was not too thrilled about it at first but today on her third feeding of it. Only got 3 ugly faces over it. Oh I cant wait for her to get into eating more solids. I remember my favorite picture My parents took of me was when I went to my first strawberry partch, and my face is all covered in strawberry stains. I was probably around 16 months old at the time. ANd apparently when the farmers appoached me later if I ate any, I completly denied it with the straightest face. HA

Oh the adventures to come.