I'm losing it

I'm so freaking happy.

I had my fitness evaluation this past monday. Wanted to see how the last 4 months with my trainer has improved me. AS I know my jeans no longer fit. And I'm having to wash them each day just about to keep them tight on my ass.

So far I've lost 8 inches in total.
1 in chest
2 in waist
2 in hips
2 in thighs
1 in bicep relaxed.
I've also gained 1/2 inch in bicep flexed.

I've also losed 6% body fat and gained 3 lbs in water weight. Which they wanted me to


I'm so proud of myself. I know the results could be much better if I actually made it to the gym an other 4 times other than my training sessions. and if I stuck to the eating regimin as they want. But I'm happy so far.

My weight was a different story. THey first weighed me pre xmas, when I gained close to 15 pounds. and weighed me day after 3 easter dinners and pre period bloating.

By their caculations I was up 5 pounds, But I know for a fact its close to 15 pounds lose with my trainer.

So yippy for me. I'm so excited.
I'm this much closer to my goal. once I get there. This will be what I'm getting done. What I want is a Jessica Rabbit tatoo. TO represent the sexy redhead I am. AND I finally found a picture online of what I want. with the quote "I'm not Bad...... Just drawn that way" written above and below Jessica.

Just cant quite decide on the pic. WOuld love the first one. But whatever looks best on my arm.

OH gotta love Easter with the inlaws.

First my first rant for yesterday is towards my husband.

I know its not his fault for being a heavy sleeper. But if Meagan and I can play all over him for 10 minutes and not have hime move an inch. YEAH hes a heavy sleeper. So the plan was to go to 9am mass as he was working at the movie theater from 11-5. (thats an other rant. Only man with wife and child and HE has to work easter sunday where the other teenages will not take his shift)

So chris knew we were to leave at 8:20 to be at church for 8:30 get in when 7:30 mass gets out to get good seats up front. Well the bastard never woke up. I did not wake him as I had meagan all cranky and still not herself from thursday.

So off I go to HIS grandmothers Easter dinner that starts at 3pm. YES DINNER AT 3!!!!! All alone and with his sister. His father and uncle are there. Not sure in what state of drunkeness Grandma will be in.

So we sit and heres the first thing His father did not like comming out of my mouth. He mentioned his ex-girlfriends , son's ex-girlfriend (who is the mother of his child) was taking their child easter egg hunting. ANd oh how great it will be for Meagan to go next year.
ME: NOPE, not doing that.

The shock and horror on his face "well, well why?"

(please to those who do not see it my way not meaning to flame you, this is just my beliefs)
Me: Nope easter is about going to chuch, celebrating the death of christ. And spending it with family. No easter egg hunts, no gifts, just the occasional chocholate

well HE was S NOT IMPRESSED.

then as tim passes he asked if she was crawling yet, as said above ex-girlfriends son's daughter was crawling at 7 months. Bullshit i say.

ME: nope, not yet. and dont think she will as she will walk assited now and stll does not like tummy time.

SO as conversation goes. Grandma mentions how she was a sport widow during the summer months. That grandpa used to play baseball, coach baseball, play tennis, lawn bowling and she never saw him. Then chris's dad says "well I'm no different I used to play 3 basebal leagues. Tounements all the time but stil did go by kids (in his dreams)" So It took all of me not to say 'well and thats why your daughter hates you and your son would rather look thru foggy googles than to trully hate his father.'

This was after I mentioned that chris is quiting his part tim job at the movie theater,His dad "well why would he do that, thougth he liked the job and money?"
Me: "he works 4 shifts there now as is and going to be playing 1 night a week at baseball. He wants to put his family before job and its his decission


Then towards 4:45 I mentioned to grandma we will be leaving at 5:30 as i want to spend the evening with Chris.

Meagan fell asleep at 5:15 just as tea was ready. so I lay her down on the love seat thats 2 feet wide. not a problem as she barely moves during her sleep except to shake her head no. I go to get a cup of tea. so grandma goes "A(father in law) come sit with us, dont be an outcast."
As he looks natly at me he says "well A(sister in law) knows WHY i'm not comming to sit down." she then says "why? because of meagan?" then I get evil look god knows now.

He did not trust my judgement that I know my 7 month old NOT TO MOVE WHILE SHE SLEEPS. and he sat on another seat at the foot of the loveseat for 30 minutes as she slept.

So I'm a horrible mother in his eyes, because its been since christmas he's seen her and NOT ONCE CALLED TO ARRANGE A VISIT.

this just makes me hate him even more.
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update on Meagan

****Can I make alittle disclaimer: I have NO IDEA where my ramblingings were going in my last Blog. Just looked back and I trailed off at the end. MAybe I was tired, maybe I was insane, whatever I have a baby. THATS MY EXCUSE :-0****

SO we met Dr Jackass last week. AND he was not a jackass.

Her ECG was abnormal and he heard a heart murmer. So off we go to verify these are in tehir normal ranges.

Fast fowrward to today......................................................

SO today was one of the big days. WARNING LONG

Off to the hospital we go. SO I got NO SLEEP. Tummy not feeling well from last night (think it was the mozzarella sticks and chips and dip I had for dinner ECSTATIC )

SO meagan woke at 2:45. Ate and we were back asleep at 3:30 am. SO I got all of 3 hours sleep.

All was going well. Appointment was for 12:45 (remeber this It will come up later) So fed her at 9am so she could get enought and take her time to eat.

She finishes in 10 minutes. She was starting to fall asleep, so I put her in her excersaucer. THen I needed to pee, so Off I go. TO come back to a baby asleep in her excersaucer. I know I know I should have taken a picture Doh!

SO I try everything I can to wake her. nothing working so I figure an 30 minute nap aint gonna kill her. Really do they expect a 7 month old to stay awake for a minimum 6 1/2 hours? NO!

SO I join in this nap. Alarm goes off and try to wake her NOTHING. Even lifting her eyelids and shes rolling them back, down or off to the side to not look at me.

SO she ends up sleeping for 1 hour 20 minutes. THats ok, still have pleanty of time till 1pm.

So we leave a little early so I can arrive at the hospital 15 minutes early to fill in paper work.

Get there go down the hallway. Now when we first registered. I saw on her sheet 1:30 by our name. Must be wrong RIGHT. Didnt mention anything.

SO 1pm comes along and they let this older gentleman in before us Confused Confused Confused Confused

Now meagan has not eaten in 4 hours and getting tired and hungry. My sister goes and hunts a nurse down, who was surprised of Meagans wait on food??

She comes and takes our info for paper work. I ask how long its gonna be as shes starving and need to feed her. "oh you dont feed her until after the exam"
"EXCUSE ME. NO the doc's reception note says I can feed her after the sedation."
"oh, well no the sedation may make her vomit if she eats after. We usually give water to make sure they can swallow"
"uh no, I dont give her water."
"well you cant give her formula, unless you Breastfeed. But only half a feed"

Here I'm thinking to myself Meagan will not accept a half feed. Whatever. If Meagan wants a full feed she'll get it.

SO they dont take me into the room till 1:45 (almost 5 hours since last feed and 3 1/2 hours since she woke up) Do all the blood preasure and tempurature.

So we have the option of oral or rectal dosage. If dont orally its a bitter taste and usually can only give 1/2 dose. If she is not expected to 'VOID' anytime soon we can give rectally.

So I opt for rectal as we had a poop this am, and less evasive. (sp?)
mentions how she would be feeling dizzy kinda drunkish. so its a different feeling for baby so calm her and get her to sleep the best I can with avoiding feeding at all cost. But can if nothing works in 30 minutes. usually takes 10-30 minutes.

SHe conks out in 1 minute. Not due to drugs but on her

SO there doing the tests, first technician was super niice and was doing her job great, she had most her stuf done in 35 minutes (where she said 45) and Doc was on his way. NOPE later find out this old woman ( i mean old at least 50) sits down and starts doing stuff. To which minutes ago she was asking the first tech why she was not doing this or that. To which her responce was "were not doing that"

NOw old woman takes 30 minutes and then tells me shes in TRAINING.

THen doc stolls in. Tells me pics look good so far, nothing seems to be the matter. But basically does everything over these two woman did for last hour. THen at 1 hour 38 minutes he asks "how long are her afternoon naps usally"
"30 minutes" as he jerks her a bit too fast and wakes her. NOw hes trying to get a test of her blood preasure and need to a) keep her still b) would prefer everyone to basically shut up (not exact words)

After trying to get the blood pressure for 5 minutes he gives up.

SO theres our day.

In 2 weeks were going in for 24 heart moniter test. but things are good.

My only worry was watching the first tech measure all the little "holes" blips and bloops. All that was running thru my head was I did this to my baby as I never could take my prenatal vitamins regularly. Hell If I remembered once a week was good. (i'm not a pill popper)

But so far baby good. Sleeping most evening but right now my only concern was at church she started to kinda sqeel but could not get it out. Sounded very raspy like she was weezing. of couse she was going it before mass started while all quiet and did it a few times in a row that just about the whole congrigation I could hear them turn to our direction as it sounded like she could not breath. But she was just trying to laugh.

Will keep an eye out for that tomarrow if it gets worst I'll be calling telehealth. But not sure why shes doing it as drugs given rectally so nothing would later irritate her throught.

So if your still here I wish to thank my BITCH AGAIN, as when we returned home there was a package and she mentioned she was thinking of us today. Really needed it.